Monday, December 14

for the sake of his sanity...

i fear it is worse than i initially thought.

1. i cooked hard boiled eggs for tea yesterday, only to discover there were no eggs in the pan when i served them up.
2. i have no working batteries for my camera, none charged up and none in the shed lurking, thus i have dug into my flickr album... this does not appear to be the kind of thing an addicted blogger trying to appear quite professional, would allow to happen
3. i have produced grilled cheese sandwiches without any cheese (again)
4. instead of moving people out of bedrooms to accommodate my lovely folks, i have spent the morning painting the legs of a rocking chair. not just any rocking chair but an eames rocker.
(i've paused so you may recover dearest readers)
surely that right there is the sign of insanity,
that i am off my rocker (ha!)
who in their tiny right mind would take a paint brush to an eames rocking chair.
i am thinking that could quite honestly get me 'taken away'
i can see it now, in court, the gasps and the shock on the jury's face when they bring out the evidence.
"surely your honour. this is a case of, lock her up and throw away the key"
5. instead of washing all the bed linens for nice fresh beds to be laid in, i have commandeered Mrs W. Machine for dye-ing duties. why i need to suddenly dye a load of linens is beyond me at this moment in time

it would appear, i am a lost cause.


as my man left for work today having i might add, scrubbed our little en suite sink to within an inch of it's life... thus causing the large area of rust to finally cave in, giving our sink the appearance of a sieve. this i feel will be most 'novel' for my folks, i plan to advise them upon their arrival, not to worry, the bucket underneath will catch the worst of it...
but i digress,
after my man had finished up cleaning and scrubbing so that i may continue to go around the shed 'batty as a fruitcake', useless as can be... not achieving anything that is of great importance and only things that are irrelevant.

he left with parting words
"for the sake of my sanity and those around us, please, please get yourself some cream yarn"
and then he continued to tell me how with only a few days to go, chances were running high that he may end up in Costco the night before, lurking amongst the kitchen appliances thinking i may indeed like a whisk or something similar.

at the mention of the word Costco, my 'deranged trance like' self, saw a little glimmer of hope at the end of a tunnel...
quick as a 'quickity quick' thing.
perhaps a mouse or a moth, both of which can be pretty quick.
and of course there's little olive, flashing through the shed these days.
her speeds are getting pretty 'quickity quick'.
i replied with
"i'm not just needing cream, i think i need quite a few other colors to make what i have in mind"
for here was a man, a desperate man, with a countdown to Christmas weighing heavily upon his shoulders.
and here was i, knowing i still had nearly nine months left of yarn lusting weighing on mine...

"whatever Tif, just get what you want and it can be your Christmas gift" he replied
right there i knew i had chosen well all those years ago...

so dearest readers, it would seem only right at a time of glee towards all pesky gnomes and forsaken souls, that i extend my kindness and reach out to save my man's sanity,
and quite possibly in doing so, will unearth my own.

as i sit before you with yarn dollars by my side, the fog beginning to clear.
i see now that a rather lovely desperate man, my man... with a pleading look in his eyes, knew the aisles of Costco would only bring misery.
and my 'yarn lusting' gave him a way out and the hope of a bright and gleeful Christmas.

she is thinking perhaps she will be out tonight, weeping with joy and hugging balls of yarn ~ Tif

25 comments:

Pearl and Pebble said...

Soon everything will be just fine. But if you can't find your car keys, try looking in the freezer.

Elicia said...

i do hope you find your sanity with your yarn balls.

Kate Kelleher Blue Sky Butterfly Studio said...

Ha, Lady Tif, I recon you are dancing in those aisles right now! Even in London I can hear your laughter. Rejoice and enjoy!

everyeskimo said...

if you aren't just the dottiest delight!

Kelly Ballard said...

Another clever and well written post. You have a way with words.

Kelly
Second Hand Chicks

mamas collection said...

I knew it! Fresh rush of creativity coming from a distracted mind!
And God bless your man for his amazing insight.....and sanity.....:D

Laurie Anne said...

You made me laugh so hard I cried...Thank you...I'm not the only one losing my sanity, except I could never write it like you do :) What a good man you have there! xx

nacherluver said...

Fun thread and can totally relate. Actually, I don't even have the full gist of it yet and will have to read again tomorrow. After four failed attempts (every time I started reading one of my darling little ones started talking) I have caught snippets of the entirety. I can relate to the bits and pieces as that is how I digest most things in my busy life. If this makes sense to you, then I guess we are on the same page. If the real answer to life falling perfectly into place truly lies in a simple ball of cream yarn, I will head to the store tomorrow and buy the whole stinkin' bin!
;)

me said...

I do hope the cream yarn Santa delivered today takes the edge off so you'll be able to really appreciate a Yarn Binge!! Hurrah for Christmas Gifts of Yarn!!!

UberArt said...

Isn't it funny how we can find so many "important" things to do when we really should be doing something else?! I am the queen of getting sidetracked, though I haven't forgotten the cheese in my grilled cheese sandwiches (yet). Enjoy your yarn!

Lisa said...

Merry Christmas Tif!

Jen said...

I laughed out loud in deep understanding of your top five.

Lululiz said...

Oh my goodness, that post had me in stitches! Sooooooooo funny.

mischa said...

Oh my, I have been a lurker for quite a while, but this has de-lurked me...are congratulations in order?

Patricia said...

You be a 'quickity quick' thing and go quickly to buy the cream yarn and gleefully coloured yarn.
You can then both be joyous for you have indeed saved your man's sanity and your own. Then ... everyone in the Mossy Shed will celebrate for they may finally have some food cooked ready to eat. :)))

I loved that post. I can't word that quirky way that you do, but just thought I would give it a go :)

Ticking stripes said...

You always make me laugh so thank you. I've lost my camera and my computer died last week so I have an idea how you feel (I lost hundreds of pics etc). Enjoy your yarn-fest!

Zia Meadows said...

Dear Dottie, it seems you are in a terrible predicament which I myself now understand as after reading far too many of your posts I have discovered the joy of Plasticote spray paint and have been haunting b&Q like a mad waif only to discover spray painting tables(clock, frames,lampbases and grass) on windy warm days in the garden is almost as disasterous as attempting to spray paint on a frosty morn so I am lingering at the kitchen sink hoping for a warm patch of weather so I can brighten up my dreary bits and bobs completely forgetting the herd of children mewing for food about me!
Wool and paint are terrible addictions that must be bourn I'm afraid!

retrorose said...

Mm! those grilled cheese sandwiches sound nice. I hate cheese! Very funny post once again. How is it when we have important things to do we think up other nice things to do. It reminds me of studying, I used to just make a timetable, and spend all my time colouring it in!

Abigail Thomas said...

Fantastic! Yarntastic even! What a man you have! Enjoy the wool spree.

Julia said...

Well I have just found your blog today and so glad I did, I laughed to read your post as I do many similar things myself...I put it down to being an 'arty' type, and that for the most of the time Im totally away with the fairies!

Nice to find you today

Love Julia xxx

dottie angel said...

i can't talk now dearest readers, for i am sorting my yarn balls, (said with big cheesy grin) i'm admiring them, making them feel at home in mossy shed and generally not achieving much else :)

and me, thank you so much for my little ball of cream yarn on my doorstep... you truly are the loveliest of lovelies :) and i am letting that little cream yarn ball get to know it's new friends...

Char said...

enjoy the beautiful distraction

much better than fretting the detailsq

TheCluelessCrafter said...

While I feel for your insanity and pray that you find it under your rocking chair, I must admit that you expressed the craze of these holidays aptly. It was fun to stop by; Hopefully I'll find you again!

sally said...

*sigh* this was just what I needed today as I'm knee deep in glimmer mist, tea-stained muslin, and a borrowed-sewing machine since mine had to visit the sewing machine dr yesterday!! The smile you've put on my face will stay for quite a while!! and I'm sooo glad you have a mr gorgeous almost as wonderful as mine! :)
merry yarn-ing!!
sally
sally's angelworks

Renee Campbell said...

Hi! I just want to say I love your black and white afghan with the flowers! Did you make that? If so, can I ask where you found the pattern? It is so amazing and I would love to start something like that. Could you please email me at: reneerose82@hotmail.com

Thanks so much!