i look like a new mum, (unwashed hair and yesterday's clothes),
and i smell like a new mum (sick and diarrhea)...
in the past twenty four hours i have marvelled many times at just how much 'yuck' can come out of one so small as 'little olive'.
at 7 pm last night i marvelled to my man, the volume of the clear up operation that i had started that day,
at 3 am this morning, i marvelled in hushed tones to the silent night, "where does it keep coming from?"...
at 7 am this morning, i marvelled again in my bedraggled smelly state, to anyone who was awake to listen, again the bulk of the situation.
and at 12 pm this lunchtime i re-marvelled to my vet, the 'enormity of the quantity' that had left this little doggie rather sad and tired.
as little olive rests, i have spent way too much time this afternoon, chasing a blimen' chicken.
i am quite sure if someone were to be secretly videoing my moment of 'mass hysteria' and show me at a later date, i might chuckle... but chuckling i was not at the time.
tired, smelling of sick dog and realizing after my man had fixed the hole in the fence that one silly chicken was not where it should be...
and that silly chicken was 'little voice'.
by the time our #1 had got her back in the fold i must confess rather nasty words had left my lips...
"oh, just stay there you flippin' hen" i shouted, "just leave her."
"you don't mean that mum, imagine if she got squidged on the road, then we would all have to hear you wailing for days to come" our #1 shouted back as we tried to corner the frisky thing.
"i do... i do mean it..."
and then i said 'it' dearest readers, the most unforgivable thing to say to a chicken you wish to be friends with and encourage to keep you going in the 'egg department' for several years.
i said the 'C' word...
a terrible, abusively verbal crime has been committed to one of my chickens and by moi, myself.
"you know chicken..." (actually, i shouted it rather loudly, sounding like a deranged woman with not a lot left to give),
"you know chicken, if ever there was a chicken that deserved to be eaten by a bloody coyote it's you, little blimen' voice."
gasp, shock and a lot of horror...
in my defence, however pathetic it may sound, i must tell you... i was a 'woman undone' by many hours filled with 'shit shovelling' and few hours filled with 'sleep' but it is still unforgivable. and on that note, i turned on my heel and headed indoors to 'wash my hands' of saving 'little voice' from the big bad road or the jaws of a coyote.
our #1 did not however stoop to her mother's level and patiently waited for 'little voice' to 'come to her senses' and go through the gate to the back yard.
and why do i feel so bad about shouting the 'C' word at my chicken, i'll tell you why...
because my 'sweet six' have started 'a laying', the most amazing gift a chicken can give and they started to do this several days ago.
i am a proud mother hen and after i finish up 'tippity tapping' these words i shall go back out to the yard, cup of tea in hand, newly bathed 'olive' in the other and find 'little voice' to apologize...
with a bit of luck (and 'cause she's a chicken with short term memory issues) she will forgive my 'momentary breakdown' and offer up an egg for breakfast tomorrow...
she is hoping her night is not full of 'crap' again and wishing you all a 'crap free' weekend ~ Tif ;)