Wednesday, July 29

the day before olive comes to stay...


i have seen my future...
("what crazy talk is this Tif, has the heat finally fried your last ounce of sanity?" i hear you gasp)
this is no crazy talk dear readers, no sirree... it's the truth, however deranged i appear to be looking in my 'slick stuck to my head' suzi quatro hairstyle and old cotton slip, going 'as is' underneath and having a 'hand fan' as my best friend...

in the past few days i have had a taste of my menopausal future and i don't care for it one bit.
i've accepted my sagging bottom,
come to terms with my pesky gray roots
and convinced myself the crows feet around my eyes are laughter lines...
(actually that is all a pack of 'fibs', but for the sake of me adding drama to my ramblings i must 'bend the truth' at this point, i knew you would understand. but not, i must add at the 'menopausal point' above... no, that is the truth. cross my heart...)

as the outside temps reach over a 100 and inside the shed is close behind with a 'faint' inducing 90+... i have now been given a taste of the 'could fry an egg on my back at night' situation that presents it's self in menopause...

and so today, as 'they' claim it will be even hotter...
i fear for used dog living with a coat of 'black and fur', trying to stay warm with her 'super hero wet cloak' towel and a bulldog clip,
i fear for my feathered friends who are beginning to have an insight to their cousins lives, the rotisserie chickens,
i fear for 'noodle and doodle' the two mieces, in their glass walled home of 'stink' in our #4's room.
but most of all, even more than fearing for my menopausal future,
i fear for my children having to ride out the heatwave with a mother perspiring like she's never perspired before and making sure everyone in the vicinity of the shed, shares her suffering...

she is off tomorrow, travelling north to bring little olive 'home'... and hoping the air conditioning in the car remembers it's supposed to be working ~ Tif
footynote: just a quick 'thanking you kindly'... i truly appreciate your lovely words of support for my 'exhibit moment' of late. it has warmed my heart... actually my heart was already warm due to extreme heat conditions and really didn't require anymore warming but i think you get the gist of what i mean :)

7 comments:

Unbuttoned said...

Who or what is little Olive? :)
Oh, and send some of that wonderful heat our way! It's been just miserable-wet, cold, more wet, dark, cold and wetter. Hot and wet I can do but cold and wet in JULY? Yuck! There is talk of procuring an Ark.

Kylie said...

Okay, this is going to sound freaky, but we have unbearable summers in Brisbane - heat + humidity - so this was my recipe for relief (before the drought + water restrictions started of course!) 1. A bath full of cold water - 2. lie in it until your body temperature drops - 3. be normal for half an hour - 4. repeat process! Hope this helps :) K

caramela said...

I can sympathise totally, I am so hot now I could scream- I want a place of ny own in our refrigerator-you didn't think of that did you...?and I am too close to menopause too and I find it a total nuisance- I plan to blindfold myself and walk right through! ...very gracefully!
have fun in the car,
Annamaria

hanna said...

oh you really are hilarious and tell a great story. I've just caught up on your last few posts after having a busy week with not much time to check in and I would have laughed out loud more than once if it were not for a sleeping baby near by.
Sounds like I need to parcel up some of our winter cool and send it your way. Your exhibition looks delightful, I would loved to have paid it a visit.
xx
Hanna

Michelle said...

I wonder dear Tif if the "puppy" treats are a hint...hmmmmm...
hope she doesn't chew...
do remember to put all shoes up high and "barbie" dolls for some reason our dog loves their arms and feet...
Really don't see you with many "barbie's" but you never know?

Hear Me Roar! said...

I can't wait until we see photos of little Olive! Don't forget with all your preparing for Olive's arrival that she may be needing a little kiddie wading pool filled with ice cubes for a nice welcome. And hide the hot dog buns, as she definitely will not find that a funny joke.

Ah yes, and of course the thought of your little chickens having a glimpse of the rotisserie life... too sad. I think the heat has broken the lock here at work, because the door won't open. I don't think humans can survive under these conditions, and I'm worried for our little guinea pigs at home.

Pomona said...

A cooling comment - for me to sit outside on my holiday sofa and knit I need to wear a vest, a tunic, a cardi, a thick woolly long cardi and a shawl. Such is life in England in July. Just imagine you are at my cottage and feel that cooling breeze!

Pomona x