Friday, August 29

a pack of lies...

i returned from good old blighty several pounds heavier, this due to my mother's wonderful cooking, not sure how long i will keep my new found pounds as my cooking is at an all time low...however i know my weight gain to be true because of my bathroom scales...


i found these 'heart stopping' little scales on a 'jolly' to freemont a few sundays back...i like freemont sunday market, it is quite the flea market these days and there are some lovely little treasures waiting to be discovered.
my little blue scales were found in the local antique mall and had my name on them...on returning home i hid them, my man has become very in tune with the comings and goings of thrift store finds at the shed and so i have become a 'secret thrifter'.
when i bring home a treasure instead of rushing in to show all, so they too can bask in the glory of my 'find', i now leave my 'glowing delight' in the trunk of the car and wait until the house is empty of all occupants except 'used dog' who appreciates my findings and can keep a secret.
i then run out to collect my latest treasure and dash into the shed to find a suitable hiding spot. next i wait...sometimes waiting for several days until i bring my little treasure out from hiding and give it a new lease of life, be it with paint or fabric...

of course my man noticed the scales straight away..."oh my god Tif, what piece of crap have you bought home this time"...
"they are not crap" said i, in a tone of deep woundedness..."tell me how often in a life time does one come across old bathroom scales painted in a beautiful blue...it's a once in a life time moment and i couldn't pass them by"
"do they even work?" he scoffed...
"does it matter?" i replied "can i not just love them because they look perfect all battered and pretty in our tiny shower space? when i am old, chipped and a little bit broken will you not want me around, do i have to be perfect to be loved?" (yes, i know that was a bit over the top, but i felt it necessary for the sake of my little scales to have a chance of residing in mossy shed)
"okay, okay, so how much did you pay for them?" he enquired...
"damn" i thought to myself, a trick question, what would be too high to say...
"i hope you didn't pay over $10"...gulp..."okay so you paid over $10, tell me you didn't go over $14"...
ummm, gulp again "yep, that's what i paid"...making a quick retreat downstairs mumbling about needing to sort laundry.

dear readers, in eighteen years of marriage i am trying to recall having lied to my man and i can not, but my 'i love you like no other' bathroom scales have caused me to lie, (gasp, shock, horror)...is this it? have i descended to an 'all time low' because of my addictive thrift store ways...am i willing to jeopardize my marriage over the difference of a few dollars...when the thrifting bug takes a hold of you, it's a downward spiral and anything is possible.

at least he did not quizz me on the price of my other finds that day...a little foot stool for $15 and a curtain for $5, hand in hand they became a beautiful combination...





so for now i shall continue with my addiction, hiding the evidence in the trunk of my car and stashing them around the house when no one is looking, but i vow from this day on to be truthful to my man about the cost...i know that i paid $16 plus tax for my little scales (closer look so you see what i saw in them) and i know to me it was 'a steal'...i shout it loud and i shout it proud...

"they were worth every cent to me..."

she's wishing you sunshine for the weekend and missing her mum's cooking ~ Tif

15 comments:

Gigibird said...

I’m afraid I’m with your husband on this one…..have you given them a good scrub? If those scales could talk I bet they would have some stores to tell and seen some sights….I hope they don’t give you a verruca.
Then you will definitely have to wear socks to hide the shame…..

Lie to my husband? Easy. The truth hurts …..we all lie to our husbands.

Used dog has a lovely tidy bed…..my fur baby duffs his bed up every evening at 9.10pm

Hear Me Roar! said...

Do you want me to write you a notarized excuse note, absolving you of any responsibility for what comes out of your mouth when you've been cornered in such a fashion?

You make me chuckle. Be sure to let me know if you need any more company on your thrifting excursions!

geriann said...

tif...i'm rolling on the floor over hear - laughing so hard you can probably hear me all the way from wisconsin.
number one - i've bought that same scale in a very pale (and chippy i might add) green -my hubby had exactly the same reaction as yours.
number two - the trunk trick has been employed at my home for several years now - only the storage shed and the "studio" space have become so bloated it's quite ridiculous really - that addiction word...it's true isn't it...if they just could understand the potential we see all these treasures and how much we hold ourselves back from actually purchasing and bringing home...
number three - your footstool is lovely dear - keep on doing your thing!

kat said...

if you cannot keep the scales, send them my way ;-)

i like to think that my husband is so overcome by my beauty that he cannot find room in his brain to truly appreciate the treasures with which i fill our belfry.

in truth i resort to sneaking them in as well.

Gigi said...

Oh this is funny! I have been known to 'hide' new things (shoes in particular) in the trunk of my car for days! I really think someone should invent a shoe rack for car trunks, don't you?

Georganna

Two Crofters said...

yep - i am with your husband and gigi on this one - you will catch something truly awful from those scales - mark my words ;)

as for the big fat fib - we all do it - thrifting would be no fun at all if we could just waltz in to the house with our loot - i like the guilty feeling!!!

how come used dog is so tidy?
my hounds all rake and nest build - they have been known to empty an entire duvet whilst i popped out to water the ponies.....

now - go scrub those scales and then sit and admire that stool - just beautiful x

t x

Francesca said...

flippin' 'eck tif, you was robbed!
however, i do love your little stool. and i always knock a few quid off my purchases. i don't even know why...it's my money for gawd's sake!

(not sure why i've gone all cockney).

Kathe Kramer said...

One time, my husband found thrifted nesting tables in the downstairs shower stall. No one uses it, but for some reason he had to look in there. They belong to Sandra, I replied, she didn't want her husband to see them just yet. (they are ours). Just today, I got up the nerve to ask the same hubby to bring in 2 wicker chairs from the shed. I am getting more brazen. I had hidden them there 10 days ago. I learned from watching I love Lucy as a kid, just hide something then you can honestly say you didn't just get it. I never confess the full price of ANYTHING! Probably why we have just celebrated 36 years of wedded bliss.

Cathy said...

I usually knock a few quid off the price when telling my hubby how much I've spent on 'tat' (as he calls it). I am also good at placing things in the house while he's at work and then pretending that they have been there for ages and he's just not very observant. Works every time!
Love the footstool and the scales - money well spent!
Cathy X

dottie angel said...

oooh thanks for giving me a giggle...and i shall be sure to take note of your tips, a nest of tables in the shower and belonging to a 'friend'...that's priceless :)

drouillards said...

I love what you did to the stool. Do you know how that doily was made? It's amazing.

pungsnotded said...

That stool is so happy and pretty and elegant, I just love it!

Jerusalem said...

I love the scale & the stool is precious! And the trunk is a beautiful hiding place. I have used it often.

Diane said...

It is reassuring to hear I'm not the only one bemoaning the kids' return to school. I rely on them so much for help that I have the hardest time transitioning to the school day schedule. Bravo to #4 for learning to sew, with such impressive results. I'd hold him to his offer to buy a Bernina! By the way, my 20 year old son is the only one in the family who sews on buttons. We save those mending jobs for when he's home from college.

Anonymous said...

I totally see the beauty in that scale! In fact, we have a similar one! And that stool is freaking fabulous. I am so with you on the hiding thrifted treasures in my trunk thing. It's nice to know I'm not the only one!