Monday, April 28

the adventures of Tif's man and the rainforest...day four...

why Tif had insisted on setting the alarm for 4:55am was beyond him, she had said that if they needed to be sun screened and bug sprayed at the breakfast table by 5:30am then her and the girls required 35 minutes at the very least...
he was now sharing his cabin with three children as his youngest no longer felt 'safe' with his mother, sister and the beetle. he had spent most of the night being kicked in the back or elbowed in the head...why was it the smallest of children still manage to take over most of the bed and end up sleeping diagonally across it, leaving very little room for anyone else...

the door to the cabin opened and in walked his 'ever-so-young' wife (what a lucky man he thought)...her hair looking strangely like she had put her fingers in a plug socket for rather too long...then again he thought to himself, if i screw my eyes up she could pass for when we first met all those heady years ago, end of the 'eighties' in her white stilettos and amazing big frizzy hair do...


the boat arrived to pick them up at 6am...this was the day he had been waiting for, the reason for dragging his family along to this part of Costa Rica...he had listened to the grumbles and the groans of
"so why didn't you think to pack the camera strap?"...
"well i'm okay, i've got my sunglasses...i didn't think you needed me to pack everything for you"...
"what do you mean we don't have a watch, surely out of six people one of us has a watch"...
"are you sure there won't be any need for a flat iron where we are going?" (oh yes dear readers, do you think he said "no" to the last one just for a laugh?)...
Tif's man knew it was all worth it for today was the day they would be venturing into primary rain forest. their guide was the same guide from yesterday's snorkeling adventure, obviously he had drawn the short straw again this morning...all things considered 'Felix the guide' seemed very chipper anyway...


the boat headed along the headland to the Corcovado National Park...and along with them came a whole ton of rain clouds. once on dry land (ha! not for long) they spent the first hour trekking through secondary forest and then reached the primary forest, not a lot of activity creature wise, most of the noises were coming from his four children...when a family has breakfasted at 5:30am it is quite standard for children to believe by 9am that they are going to collapse and faint at any given moment without nourishment...his wife was looking much better either.

Felix was a hardy guide, obviously use to travelling great distances with very little in his stomach, he understood English very well and was fully aware that food was in order for this 'non hardy' bunch. one minor detail, they didn't have any with them, it was all back at the little lodge on the beach...so the next few hours went by with children complaining, the animals and insects refusing to be seen and a party of six traipsing along the beach (short cut apparently) towards their lunch box...

and then the rains came..."not to worry" said Felix, "i am sure after lunch the rain will clear up and we will head to the waterfall and see many things"...sadly Felix was not right in his optimism and after one hour of taking shelter it was decided they would walk to the waterfall anyway...and so once again six 'pathetic' souls and one 'guide' went forth into the pouring rain.
after what seemed an age and a lot of "why are we here again, did you know there are very nice cruises apparently in the Caribbean?" they made it to a 'stream'...the word stream is used loosely here, with all the rain it was now a river, which according to their guide needed to be crossed...

"i'm not going across that" piped up #4 child,
"oh, it's fine you can hold on to my back and i'll swim across" Tif's man gallantly offered
"nope. no. not a chance"...
"i know", Felix suggests "why doesn't your dad show you how safe it is first"
do you think i am completely nuts, Tif's man thought to himself, but before he knew it he was up to his neck, fully clothed crossing the river whilst his family looked on "see it's quite safe, nothing to worry about, now i'm coming back and you can hop on my back"...

as he climbed out of the water, dripping from head to toe his youngest child stood there with big tears in his eyes and said "i can't do it, i just can't" and of course his mother's heart melted and she said "i don't think it's going to work dear, we'll just have to go back the way we came" at which all of his family made a hasty retreat back down the muddy path leaving him to empty his boots full of water and squeeze out his heavy cotton shorts "why did i put on my non cotton shorts today of all days" he muttered to himself along with several unprintable words...
back at the lodge they waited for their boat, the rains stopped and then waited some more...

he was a disappointed man, there were no two ways about it...back at the cabin later on in the afternoon, his children now happy on the beach he told Tif "i had so wanted to see some wildlife today, two monkeys and a spider just isn't enough"...
she replied all to swiftly he felt, "i know,i know, it's terribly sad but we have tomorrow, maybe it will be better...in the meantime get out of those wet things and go join the kids". he changed into his only other pair of shorts that had been drying on the balcony from the day before and headed out the door...his wife called after him "i'll catch up with you in a minute, i just have to try and fix my hair"...

two minutes later he rushed back into the cabin, tore of his shorts and started stamping madly on them..."what's got into you?" Tif called from the bathroom.
"only a load of bloody biting ants"...

she's a busy bee painting the bathroom ~ Tif

3 comments:

Francesca said...

cor blimey tif. this has really brought it all back to me. it's not called the bloody rainforest for nothing is it! i remember very well a couple of walks in the torrential rain, trying to spot exotic animals, the guide pointing out a toucan in a far off tree and me going "oh yes...i see it" just to keep moving! there were many points during the costa rica leg of our trip that i began to wonder what all the fuss was about!

Two Crofters said...

sounds like you had a lovely day......
loving the journey :)
much love
t x

Amy said...

Tif, i can hardly stand it. :(. please tell me things are going to get better for your man & he gets to have an adventure of some sort, other than ants in the pants.this was a cruel way to leave off this story. i am holding out for the happy ending. amy